I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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