He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
