wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
