ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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