____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
