We're facebook friends in real life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
