Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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