He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
