TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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