I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
