I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
