Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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