party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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