So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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