I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
