I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
