I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
