We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
