I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
