Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
