your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
