69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
