so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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