is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
