Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize