it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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