Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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