I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
