thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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