it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
