So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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