So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
