Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
