how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
