he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
