i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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