I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
