Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just google imaged poop.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
