I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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