Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
