I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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