Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
