Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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