Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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