I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize