Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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