i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just forgot I was standing up.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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