thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
