Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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