I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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