The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
