So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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