But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
