You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I need a beard to bite.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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