so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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