remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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