My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize